Anatomy of a Cold Water Swim

The alarm clock goes off at 5 AM.  “Crap, what am I doing?” I question myself.  The bed is warm.  Just pulling the covers off a bit I can feel the colder air hit my skin and I pull them, and the warmth, back over my head and hit the snooze one more time.

The temperature in the Bay has dropped to 53 degrees, down from 57 just a few weeks ago.  It is cold!  I have no desire to feel that cold and I have no idea at this time why I’m planning to swim in it.  This is the tipping point.  I could easily just go back to sleep and stay warm.  However I have friends that I promised to meet.  They could vary well be laying in bed at this vary moment with the same struggle, but I don’t know that.  I just know I told them that I’d meet them … and I do enjoy seeing them.  Besides I know I need to keep an exercise routine going, especially this time of year with the holidays.  For some insane reason that is escaping me at the moment, I made open water swimming my exercise of choice.

I give into it and get out of bed to start my routine, packing my swim bag, making a smoothie for breakfast, getting dressed in the warmest clothes I can find and heading out the door for the 15 minute drive to the club.

I arrive at the club.  It is like a death march as I move forward towards something that I have no enthusiasm for, plunging my body into the cold water.  I hear the mumblings from the other swimmers in the locker room as they get ready for their swims, “Why am I doing this again” or “Someone needs to lock me up,” or something like that.  We are all in this together as we move forward changing into our swim gear, leaving the warmth of our bundles of clothing behind.  Somehow I doubt any of us would be doing this if we weren’t all there.

The anticipation is the hardest part … I think.  It can be akin to many things that I do not like to do, but am fine with once I get started.  Public speaking comes to mind.  Heading up to the podium is like a death march, the first few sentences I can hear my voice tremble, but once I’m started is usually goes smooth and I enjoy interacting with the audience.

Jumping into the bay off a boat or dock is much easier than walking in from a beach.  Like pulling a band-aid off in on quick pull, jumping gets it over with compared to letting the cold creep up my body inches at a time when I walk in from the beach.  Once submerged and swimming my first strokes the cold water bites at every inch of my skin.  My head aches like I’ve eaten ice cream too fast and my whole body tries to pull away from the cold that surrounds it.  There is no place for it to go, but forward as I swim and let my body go through its changes with the new environment.

Then after a couple minutes, something happens.  My blood pulls away from my skin into the core to keep it warm.  My skin goes numb and a kind of euphoria sets in.  Now I remember why I do it.  To those of you reading this that have never done it before, these are just words.  Words cannot explain the feeling of joy and refreshment of being in the cold water after getting past that first few minutes.  That is what keeps me coming back.  I want to stay in the water forever and live in it.  My body, however, has other plans.  Eventually I will start to feel too cold.  I do not want to stay in very long past that point, as hypothermia WILL set in.  I look for clues in my body like the inability to keep my fingers together.  That is usually the first sign.  Then I can start to feel the cold digging in a little deeper.  I last about an hour before it is time to get out.

Back on dry land mobility is a bit limited.  I shiver a little and it is difficult to speak.  Putting on clothing can be a challenge as fingers do not move well and limbs tremble with the cold.  After about five or ten minutes the shivering will increase as my body tries to warm up.  This shivering is very unpleasant and will last about twenty minutes unless I have access to a warm shower and/or sauna.  This is usually the case swimming at the club, but not if I’m on a boat.

The warm water of the shower heats up the skin and keeps the shivering to a minimum as it starts to thaw out.  My skin is pink an itches a little as the heat comes back into it.  As my mobility increases I can wash my hair and shave.  After I start to feel warmer I transfer to the sauna where I hear the laughter from the other swimmers.  Everyone is happy.  All those apprehensive faces before the swim are now smiling ear-to-ear refreshed and awake ready to start the day.

I stay in the sauna until I start to sweat.  I put on my clothes in the warm sauna to avoid the cold air hitting my skin when I exit.  Now I’m ready for a cup of hot tea.  I say goodbye to my friends and make promises to see them again … the very same promises I will be cursing myself for the next time the alarm clock goes off and I have to pull myself from my warm bed.

I Want to Think of Her no More

I want to think of her no more
I’d rather I was aware
Of these cracks in the sidewalk
As they pass below my feet
With each nearer my destination
It will be there when I get there
She will not

These familiar thought patterns
Of her so many years past
Like a comfortable foot
In a well worn shoe
As they walk me on forward

I don’t want to think of her any more
And miss this precious moment
These cracks in the sidewalk
The fallen leaves
They rest so randomly
Where fate has landed them

The sounds of the dogs and the birds
Barking and chirping
The friendly smiles of passerbys
A hello from the mailman
In the midst of her route delivery

It is nothing about her
As it is an undisciplined mind
Absent her a replacement
An impending deadline

The next deal to go through
Or a financial bind
What’s for lunch and dinner?
Or a different pretty find

No, I don’t want to think of her any more
Nor this that or the other
Quiet my restless mind
Or another moment will slip by
Opportunities missed forever
Those right before my very eyes

Mile Rock to Aquatic Park

MR2AP1The swim was from Point Bonita to Aquatic Park.  This would be my first time swimming outside the Golden Gate Bridge … intentionally.  There was that one time crossing under the span of the bridge that the current swept me west rather rapidly.  I was picked up by the pilot boat as I was drifting out to sea.  This time being west of the bridge would be a part of the plan.

The preparation for the event was half the challenge.  Our club swim commissioner was doing a wonderful job coordinating and making sure the event would be as safe as it could be.  This included putting off the swim for the slower swimmers until June to keep the spread of speeds tight.  As a slower swimmer, I figured I would have to wait until June to take on this new challenge.

Each swimmer was required to have their own pilot either in a kayak or a row boat.  I wrote to the commissioner to offer my services as a pilot for my friend, Les.  I was pleasantly surprised when she wrote back that there was one more slot left and that I could have it if I thought I was the same speed as my friends, Tina & Les.  Normally I’m slower than them, but I knew I could keep up if I wore fins.  I had a choice to make, do the swim now with my friends and fins or wait until June to do it without fins.  You know how the saying goes, “Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?”  Especially if this meant I could swim with my Tina & Les.

MR2AP2Tina, however was not yet approved for the swim.  She had to demonstrate that she could swim for 2 hours.  She and I set out to do a two hours swim 6 days before the event, me with my fins to also demonstrate that I could keep up with her.  We started with the Water World Swim group on their regular Sunday workout and kept going after the workout ended in 50 minutes.  We swam twice around the break water wall and 3 ½ times around the parameter.

So we were both qualified.  The next challenge was finding a pilot.  While the swim commissioner was busy trying to find one for each of us ultimately it was our responsibility.  So the emails started flying!  I emailed everyone I knew that might be available and experienced enough.  Slowly they were returned … busy with something else or already piloting for someone else.  I knew it would all work out, but I had exhausted all of my resources.  Then I received an email from the commissioner that she had me covered.  Tina & Les were still not so we kept searching.  To make a long story short we went from not having enough pilots to having too many.  The pilot that was assigned to me changed twice in a game we started to call “musical pilots.”  Finally it all settled down and along came the day of the event.

My nerves started to build Friday night, but I was able to sleep well.  I woke up feeling refreshed before the alarm clock.  A text message came in from Tina to let me know she was awake and on her way.  I always worry a little.  It’s just funner when she is around.

I drove to the club and got the last parking spot in the front.  Tina’s car was already there.  We were amongst the first to arrive.  I marked with number 2, Tina with number 3.  As more people arrived and things started happening, boats prepared and people getting ready, the thing that struck me the most was all the smiles.  There were about 50 of us gathered together on this morning about to create some magic swimming 16 people six or so miles from Point Bonita back to our “home” at Aquatic Park.

MR2AP3After everyone was ready and we had our briefing we marched down to the boat that would take us out to Point Bonita.  Already some miscommunications and mishaps occurred.  One of the pilots got lost paddling her kayak to the boat.  She never made it until ½ way through the swim.  I guess she paddled her way against the current to meet us.

The boat ride out to a swim always seems so long.  Thoughts go through my mind, “And I’m going to swim all this way back?”  We made it out to Point Bonita where the 4 zodiacs awaited us.  We unloaded all the kayaks and the pilots into the water.  I did not see my pilot.  He was in a row boat and was rowing out to the start.  I did not see him on the way out and I did not see him there.  I would not see him throughout entire event until I was back on dry land!

MR2AP4After the kayaks and pilots were in the water we started getting ready.  I was very nervous and had all the doubt that I should be doing this.  That’s typical before a new challenge.  I knew that I had the ability to complete this, but that doubt does tend to creep in.  Just as we were about to go, we got the word from the Coast Guard that they wanted us to move the start of our swim to Mile Rock, two miles across the mouth of the bay on the other side.  I was a little relieved that I could procrastinate getting in the water a little longer, yet I was also a little worried.   We were already jumping a little late to catch the flood current and this would delay that a little longer.

It was easy for us to get across the opening in the boat, but the kayakers had their work cut out for them crossing 2 miles in the choppy water fighting the current.  A few got behind and were picked up in the zodiacs.  One tipped over and another almost sunk as it took on water.

We decided to jumped before they all arrived.  They would be able to catch up and the zodiacs would cover us until then.  I did not have a pilot.  I was planning to swim with Tina & Les so just agreed to share their pilots.  2 pilots for the 3 of us … it could work?

MR2AP5Finally the inevitable time came to get in the water and the cold shock.  I always hate it, but once I’m in and swimming it is the greatest feeling.  Tina so graciously motioned for me to jump first.  I guess “lady’s first” does not always apply.  I jumped.  Immediately I felt something was wrong.  There was an imbalance with my feet.  One of my fins was gone.  I saw Tina and Les swim on by.  I had to go back to look for my fin.  I started to have visions of swimming with only one.  Perhaps I would swim in one big circle?  The answer to that question would be left for another time as I saw the blue fin bobbing in the water.  I grabbed it and struggled to put it on as the choppy water kept engulfing me.  The task was complete.  Adrenaline was rushing through my body as I spotted Tina & Les starting to get away.  They were waiting, but the current was carrying them.  I swam as fast as I could to catch them.  It wasn’t just that I wanted to swim with them, but that if I didn’t I would not have pilot coverage.

Once I caught them we started our way through the choppy water.  I was not having fun.  I was still on adrenaline and the rough water was difficult.  The three of us were in the center and the 2 kayaks on either side.

MR2AP6We had to navigate our way out into the channel to make it mid span of the Golden Gate Bridge.  The bridge was approaching fast with the current was carrying us towards it.  With each breath to the right I could spy the south bridge tower and could tell from the angle once we finally got past it.  We were instructed by the pilots at that point to swim towards it rather than try to go under the bridge mid span.  This was to get out of the shipping lane as huge tankers were scheduled to come in.  The Coast Guard was keeping in communication with our chief pilot helping to guide us.  It takes a lot of people to pull off a swim like this!

That was when I lost them.  I do not know what happened.  At one point I could see the gray kayak that was covering Tina and the next thing I knew it was gone.  There were lots of swimmers and kayaks converging on that point and in the confusion I started following another one.  The current was still carrying me towards the center of the bridge.  I took a little time to roll over on my back as I went under it to see the view of this towering structure of steel spanning way above my head.  It is quite a sight!  Then the water was sweet on the other side.  Smooth as glass the chop was gone.  I was just cruising, finally relaxed!

I have done the swim from the Golden Gate Bridge to Aquatic Park many times.  I know the drill: swim out in the middle for about 15 minutes and then start to cut in towards the shore.  If I cut in too soon I can get caught in the back eddies near Fort Point and Crissy Field.  Today was different, however, because of the tankers scheduled to come in shortly.

Still the current seemed to want to keep me out there.  At this point I had lost the other kayak that I was with and I was all alone.  I could see the zodiacs zipping around and there was the police boat out as well keeping an eye on things.  I did not feel unsafe.  I was getting a little thirsty, however and thought of my water bottle and energy drink in a row boat, who knows where, somewhere in the bay.  I could see off in the distance, closer to the shore Tina’s gray kayak.  I decided to try to make it over.  About that time one of the zodiac stopped near me and instructed me to get in closer to the shore.  That was exactly what I wanted to do.  They gave me some water and assure me they were keeping an eye on me.  I started heading in perpendicular to the shore.

Even as I was swimming perpendicular to the shore and parallel to the bridge I could see the bridge growing distant with each breath as the current carried me away from it.  I was visited by two more of the four zodiacs asking where my pilot was.  The last zodiac had the swim commissioner in it, “Where is your pilot?” She said.  “I don’t have one.” I replied, “Get in the boat,” she commanded.  We have this rule that as a swimmer you do whatever you are told by the pilots.  No arguing.  So I started to climb in the boat.  As I hung there half way in the boat she could see that I was doing OK.  I pointed out Tina and Les and explained that I was going to hook up with them.  At this point I was in line with them, but about 500 yards ahead of them.  Because I was out in the center of the bay longer, I had a stronger current that had carried me that far ahead of them.  She said I could get back in the water, but not to wait for them.  I would get too cold.  “Swim to them,” she said.  So there I was swimming against the current back towards the bridge and my friends.

It did not take long for them to catch up.  Tina looked at me but then kept swimming.  I just followed.  Eventually I lost sight of her, but kept behind the gray kayak.  She was either on the other side or in front of it, but try as I might I could not see her.  As we closed in on Fort Mason, close to Aquatic Park I finally asked, “Where’s Tina.”  “Oh she is ahead with some other boat,” her pilot said.  Even with my fins she was swimming faster than I.  He elected to stay back with me “the slower swimmer,” he said.  I swam on a little disappointed she got ahead of me, even with my fins.

MR2AP7And so I made my way into the park, slowly past all the landmarks as I was starting to feel fatigued.  I do not know how long I had been swimming at that point.  I know it was over two hours, and could have been closer to three.  I swam past Fort Mason Center … the first building, then the second and that third.  Then past the wall of Muni Pier and into the opening and slowly past the center buoy and the end of the Jacuzzi.  Past the red hull of the Balclutha and past the green tug, inching closer and closer to the beach.  I lined myself up between the two piers. As I passed the end of the dock I could see people pulling the zodiacs out of the water.  The swim was nearly over.  The people on the beach were getting closer and closer.  I could hear cheers as I could feel the sand hit my fingertips.  I always remember what my triathlon coach said, “touch the sand 3 times before you stand up.”  While I this is not a triathlon and I no longer do them, I always remember this, one, two three and then up.MR2AP8  People cheered.  I looked at my defunct GPS unit, which would not pick up the satellite signal to mark my path through the water. It was now reduced to a mere stop watch.  2 hours and 23 minutes.  I headed up to the showers and sauna getting a little emotional along the way.

After I was warmed up I went down stairs to share in story telling.  I found out what happened to my pilot.  He rowed out to Point Bonita.  We were not there.  I don’t know if he got there before us or we had already moved on to Mile Rock.  He did not see us at all.  He had issues fighting the wind and the current and had to call for help.  Eventually he made it back to the club in time for the end of the swim.  My water bottles were sitting there on the bench.  I was finally able to drink and feast on the food that all the swimmers brought for potluck breakfast.

While I did not get a GPS trail this is about what the swim turned out to be.

MR2AP9

So what is next?  This is the 5th time I’ve swam for 2 ½ hours.  I want to swim for 3 hours or more.  I think I’m strong enough.  There is a Bay to Breakers swim in a few months.  This is the same start and finish as the foot race, just the water route.  It would be essentially what we did in reverse, but starting about 3 miles west from where we finished today, going on past Mile Rock and wrapping around Seal Rock to Ocean Beach, about 9 miles.  Even with a fast current it would probably take me past my 3 hour goal.  Tina is into it and with her to swim with me the training will be that much more fun.  Onto the next adventure.

(Thank you Cathy Bump and Mary Leigh Burk for the photos)

The Alcohol Lie

I was always fascinated by evolution, looking at simpler organisms and other animals and imagining how such a wonderfully complex creature such as the human evolved.  In observing simpler organisms and other animals there is one thing in common … they receive in input from the environment that generates some kind of internal response that in turn leads to an action that guides that being through its life.  In most animals the internal reaction is a feeling.  We are no different.  Feelings are there in our life to guide us!

So what happens when we start masking feelings with things like drugs or alcohol?  We are bound to wind up leading a misguided life.  This goes for the casual “social” drink as well as the heavy addicted drinker.  What is the purpose of it?  Is it to relax, to feel more comfortable or whatever?  Well the reason that we are not more relaxed, comfortable or whatever is a part of who we are.  Everything that we feel is sacred.  It is a part of the feelings we have that need to be listened to and honored so they may guide us.

As a race of human beings if we are all relying on drugs and alcohol to mask feelings, we will all be misguided together.  If the world seems to be such a mess, perhaps that is the reason why.  There are two things that scare me most.  First is when men and women getting together under the influence of drugs or alcohol.  This scares me because children can be brought into this world through parents that are not being real with their feelings towards each other.  Children get hurt.  The second is that people who are in touch with their feelings are going out in the world making decisions that affect a lot of others.  What a mess this can make.

In all fairness, with humans it gets a little more complicated than just being guided by feelings the way it seems with other animals.  We start creating internal realities based on beliefs systems.  So not only are we reacting to the external environment, but also and internal one made up in our minds and through collective social beliefs.  So not only do we have the original feelings that are meant to guide us, but we start having feelings about those feelings based on our beliefs.  The feelings about feelings can then thwart the action that is intended based on the original feelings.  And, well then, feelings can emerge about that.  It all gets so messy.  We are no longer simple creatures in a basic fight, flight, feed or … the other ”f” word.  So no wonder we turn to things like alcohol and other intoxicants to numb our feelings.  They are too complicated!  But it needs to be stopped or we will all go down the cliff together.

Epic Battle

Pedro was calling role before the swim to the 20 or so swimmers standing on Hyde Street Pier ready for the Alcatraz crossing.  As Pedro always does when he calls a swimmers name he asks “How many crossings have you done?”  There were a lot of first timers, but when he got to me, “38” was my answer.  I don’t even know if it was my 38th.  Somewhere around there.  And, I was not enthusiastic about it.  I’m enthusiastic when I sign up, but usually the day before, I question why I’m doing this and what fun is it?  After well over 30 times, isn’t there something else I can do?

The weather was cold and overcast, which made the anticipation worse.  I knew at least that water would be warm.  The boat pulled in close to Alcatraz and the captain yelled, “Get ready as soon as we are in place jump!”  Then he started motoring the boat away from the island, and quite far from the island.  “What is he doing?” I wondered to myself.  There was a group of fishing boats and he wanted to position us on the other side of them.  We started actually quite far from the island, about 1/3 of the way to shore already.  I had mixed feelings about this, a little relief that it would be a short swim stirred in with a sense of being shorted the full swim.  We jumped.

I looked at the current charts before the swim.  We were jumping at the tail end of an ebb and just before the start of a flood, however we got a late start.  For sure it was a flood by now.  I sighted off of Fort Mason.

As predicted I got across rather fast.  I could see the opening to Aquatic Park very clear to my right.  I knew I was almost there, maybe 5 more minutes.  I looked at my watch, 25 minutes.  That was hardly a workout.  I start to think that once inside the cove I could swim the perimeter for a little more distance.  Or perhaps I could swim to the end of the break water wall and come in inside.  Be careful what you ask for!

I didn’t really know what the currents were doing, but it did not seem like much.  I guessed, rather incorrectly that we were at slack tide.  So I turned and pointed towards the opening.  After a few minutes I looked up.  “Shit” the opening was now to my left.  The flood had kick in.  I increased my angle to compensate, but every time I looked up the opening was getting farther and farther away.  Soon I was passed the Balclultha and I could see the buildings in the background passing by.

The boat that we jumped from pulled in close to me.  I didn’t want to be repositioned when I was so close … although getting farther.  I could always reach the end of the break water wall and swim in on the inside.  I got closer and closer to the wall and could see the end of it to my left.  The boat left me.  I was on my own.  Pedro knew I was experienced and could make it in from there.  There were many 1st timers out there that needed his attention more.

I reached the wall.  I estimated I was 2/3s of the way down a ¼ mile wall.  This would be the big test if I would make it or not.  I turned parallel to the wall and started swimming as hard as I could, relaxed, against the flood along side of the wall looking up at it with each breath to see if I was making progress against the current.  I was, about a foot with each stroke.  I felt strong and not the least bit fatigued and as long as I was making progress I knew I would make it … eventually.  15 minutes it took me to cover that 2/3rd of ¼ mile, but eventually I turned the corner into Aquatic Park to greet the kayaker at the buoy.  “Epic Battle!” I yelled to him.  I felt so happy.  I gave him my number and swam easily on into the club for a shower and sauna.

Current chart
http://jay2.ligda.net/tide_graph.asp?tsid=164

GPS trail
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/8496593

A Deadly Combination

What a deadly combination
A smile and a pretty face
How quickly a warrior
Will abandon his place

Standing firmly at guard
Protecting the castle entry
An enemy lurks in shadow
Threat real or imaginary

He yearns to follow
Something he knows
As his heart does tell him
There is something more pure

Yet all to many times
He reaches to touch it
An like the clouds
It vanishes

The End of a Line

A risk taken
Like so many times before
Yet always a bit different
And a little more exposed

My love is not selfless
What I offer I yearn for me
But it is through this avenue
That I will not receive

Yet this heart is not broken
Sorrow replaced with ecstasy
What new lesson was learned
That has always eluded me

What greater an affair
To offer one’s heart away
Like nothing is more vital
Watch the ego as it decays

It’s the end of a line
A substitute will not occur
But at the end of each line
There is a new world to explore

In this house of mirrors
Only my reflection will I see
Everything that I send out
Does return to me

In reaching line’s end
The mirror’s illusion will fade
Leaving only what radiates
Circles back and penetrates

No one to give
No one to receive
Everything one hopes for
Already exists if we believe

Until the lesson’s forgotten
And cycles will repeat
Another risk will be taken
Maybe next time we shall see

Gallstone Attack

It started Superbowl Sunday with an upset stomach.  “Something I ate,” I thought, but the next day the upset was still there, accompanied by pain in my back.  Unfortunately I recognized it from many years previous when I had a gallstone attack.  I rested on Monday, but by the evening the pain was intensifying.  If ever you had a gallstone attack you know the pain I’m talking about.  I’ve heard women who have given birth and also had a gallstone attack say the gallstone attack was more painful.  While I can’t make that comparison, I will say, imagine your abdomen expanding to the point just before it is about to explode.  Yes, that is the pain.

I had some vicodin that was prescribed for something else many years ago so I took some of that.  It took a while to kick into gear, but when it did the pain went away and I relaxed.  I could still tell something was going on, so I just rested.

The next morning the pain was replaced with a mild discomfort.  It was still a little much to distract me from work.  Advil seemed to do the trick and I returned to work.  So it went all week.  I popped a lot of Advil.

Friday evening I was getting ready to go to my weekly dance when the pain started to intensify.  I went straight to the vicodin.  Before it kicked in, the pain was intense enough I decided I’d better go to the hospital.  I called urgent care.  The nurse scolded me for taking the vicodin, “We normally do not prescribe that for this!” but invited me to come in the next day … since, by that time the pain was clearly masked with the drugs and I was feeling OK.  “Go to emergency if it happens again before you come in tomorrow,” she said.

The next day I was totally pain free.  Even the discomfort was gone.  I remembered the previous incident from years past where I was pain free by the time I got to the hospital, but went in anyway.  It wound up costing me $3,000 for them to run tests and tell me everything was fine.  But I had a different coverage now.  I knew it would not cost me very much and it would not hurt to see a doctor.

The urgent care doctor was kind.  She agreed with my self diagnosis that it was likely gallstones.  She ordered a blood test and sent me home.  A few hours later she gave me a call.  She was concerned.  My liver enzyme count was high indicating one of the gallstones could be stuck.  She asked me to come in for an ultrasound.

Ultrasounds are kind of fun.  They put a jelly on my abdomen and massage it with a smooth metal probe as they scan the organs with a burst of sound from the probe.  It took a while.  She scanned most of my organs.  She made a comment at one point, “does this hurt?” as she scanned my gallbladder.  “No,” I replied.  “Did they give you pain medicine?”  “No,” I replied.  She seemed convinced whatever she was doing should have hurt, I guess based on what she was seeing.

After the scan she confirmed there were a lot of gallstones and that I should wait for the doctor.  They could not tell if one was lodged.  The doctor said I had two choices, she could admit me so they could run an MRI to make sure one was not lodged or I could go home and if the pain comes back go straight to emergency.  She did say with great conviction, “You will have surgery to remove the gallbladder.”  As I was thinking about my choices she changed her mind and removed the second choice.  No, she was going to admit me for the MRI.  I would be there tonight and all day tomorrow.  Ugh!  A nurse came down to take me to the admittance office and then to my room where I would sit for the next 24 hours waiting for one test.

In the admittance office I was given the contract to sign.  “How much will this cost with my insurance.” I asked.  “$500 a day,” she replied.  I do not have $500.  It was clear to me that I was being admitted just to be on the safe side in case a stone was lodged it could lead to infection.  I did not have I sign that paper.  I sat there staring at the contract for a while until the words came up out of my mouth, “I’m not going to do this.”  Shock and disbelief was what I saw and they called the doctor, “He doesn’t want to do it.”  The doctor was kind to me and said, “You know what to do if the pain returns, go straight to emergency.”  I agreed. I told her that I wanted to wait until Monday to talk to me regular doctor.  It was a slight risk I knew, but I felt good about it.  They had me sign a release that I was refusing treatment and I went home.

I sent my doctor an email that I wanted to see him Monday.  Much to my surprise he called me ten minutes later.  He happened to be in the office, just about to go home when my email came.  He agreed to wait until Monday and repeated the instruction to go to emergency if the pain returns.

I posted a status update on my Facebook page that I had gallstones and to send me an email if any of my friends had experience.  I receive a reply with a natural remedy that involved fasting for two day son apple juice and then drinking a mixture of olive oil and lemon juice.  I love natural remedies, especially if I would be able to keep the parts of my body that I was born with.  As it turned out I was already undergoing a fast, but with lemon juice.  I switched to the apple juice and went to the store to acquire the rest of the ingredients.

I went dancing that night and stayed a bit later than I normally do.  I did have some slight discomfort, but the dance made it go away.  I lasted all day Sunday oscillating between no pain and the mild discomfort.  The discomfort was never at the levels it was the week before distracting me from work so I didn’t have to take any Advil.  I worked a little off and on.  I know it was Sunday, but I wanted to get thing done for my clients in case I ended up in the hospital for a day or two come Monday.

Monday, by the time I saw the doctor, I was completely pain free.  He massaged my belly a little and said that everything seems OK.  He ordered another blood test to check the liver enzyme level.  He expected them to still be high, but lower than what they were.  Then he wanted to schedule an appointment with a surgeon that I can talk about having the gallbladder removed.  I like my doctor, he is very easy going.  He said, “If we do it this way it is not an emergency.  If we wait until it happens again it will be an emergency.  It really is up to you.”  I didn’t tell him about the apple juice fast and the olive oil.

Bottom line, I know that I did this to myself with the food that I eat.  I love rich and fatty food.  This was a wakeup call to me.  If I end up losing my gallbladder it will be because of my own doing.  I felt a conviction like I never had before to get serious about a healthy diet.  I wanted to keep the gallbladder because it would always remind me.  Out of love for that little organ perhaps I could be more conscious about what I put in my body.  If it were gone, I would not have it to remind me and to guide me.

So for the 3rd time in 3 days I had blood removed from my body and analyzed.  I went home to wait for the results.  With this system the hospital has, I get the results via email as soon as they are ready.  Many time I can see them before the doctor does.  Along with the results there are links to information about each test and what the numbers mean.   Very impressive!

Anyway, by the time I went to sleep the result were still not posted.  It was the end of the second day of my apple juice fast and time for the olive oil, lemon juice.  I squeezed the lemons and mixed in the olive oil and drank it.  For pleasure I recommend something else to drink, but I downed it anyway.  The lemon juice was very tangy as it passed over my taste buds and the consistency of the olive oil is not something I’m used to drinking, but down it went, and to bed I went laying on my right side, as per instructions.

I was pretty skeptical this would work, but it certainly was not going to hurt.  The next morning I awoke with the need to use the toilet.  After I looked to see what I had created and much to my surprise there were these little tiny green pellets.  “Could that be?”   I fished one out.  It was very green and soft.  Gallstones, I would expect to be hard.

After a few more trips to the toilet more kept coming out and larger ones, the size of a small pea … and lots of them.  Perhaps that’s why the lab technician was indicating when she pressed on my gallbladder surprised it was not hurting.  I emailed my doctor to let him know and I wanted to have this little pellet looked at so I could be sure it was indeed a gallbladder saving gallstone.

While I was online I notice that my test results were back.  My liver enzyme count, as my doctor predicted, was still high, but much lower.  Eventually my doctor emailed me back.  He is skeptical about the gallstones and thinks I’ll still need surgery to remove the gallbladder and scheduled an appointment with the surgeon for me to talk.  He is open, however to repeating the ultrasound to see if the gallstones are still there … to be continued